5:30 a.m. Wake Up-New Commitment to Morning Writing Time
6:00 a.m. Wake Up Again
6:35 a.m. Dog Breathing in Face. Get Up
6:40 a.m. Stumble Down Stairs
6:45 a.m. Make Coffee; Waves to Morning Person Spouse Rushing Out Door
6:50 a.m. Nuke Bran Muffin
6:52 a.m. Overnuked Muffin; Give to Dog
6:58 a.m. Gulp Coffee
7:00 a.m. Brighten; Feel Creative
7:04 a.m. Have Inspiration
7:05 a.m. Rush to Home Office
7:06 a.m. Wait for Computer to Boot; Begin to Lose Inspiration
7:07 a.m. Grab Pen and Paper Scrap to Save Idea
7:08 a.m. Pen is Dry
7:09 a.m. Begin to Repeat Thought like Mantra So Not to Forget It
7:10 a.m. Find Working Pen; Quickly Scrawl Idea
7:11 a.m. Dog Wants Out
7:12 a.m. Phone Rings; Attempt Not to Answer; Fail
7:13 a.m. Deal with Boring Issue on Phone with Spouse 7:14 a.m. Deal With Spouse Who Does Not Think Issue, Paying a Bill, Is Boring
7:15 a.m. Be Irritated That Spouse Disrespects Your Artistic Impulse
7:16 a.m. Tell Him So; Argue for 30 seconds;Call a Truce (You're Wasting Precious Time)
7:17 a.m. Reassure Spouse You'll Remember to Pay the Damn Bill
7:18 a.m. Hang Up Phone Forcefully to Go Pay Bill
7:19 a.m. Excited About Scrawled Bright Idea...
7:20 a.m. Force Mind Back to Bright Idea; Look for Scrap on Which it is Scrawled: Find it
7:21 a.m. Sit; Computer is Up, Paper Scrap in Hand; All is Right With World
7:23 a.m. Can't Read Scrawl; Turn Scrap Over; Realize Scrap is Important: A Receipt
7:24 a.m. Remember Damn Bill Again; Forget Again
7:25 a.m. Creative High Sinking
7:28 a.m. Pour More Coffee; Let in Dog, Search for/Find Reading Glasses
7:29 a.m. Still Can't Read Scrawl; Close Eyes––Remember…Remember…
7:30 a.m. Begin to Fear Alzheimer's
7:31 a.m. Have Crisis of Identity
7:35 a.m. Calm Down
7:35 a.m. Remember Not Being a Morning Person 7:36 a.m. Have Another Bright Idea; Begin to Type
7:40 a.m. Rewrite
7:44 a.m. Rewrite Again
7:54 a.m. Stare at Screen; Out of Ideas for Rewrite
8:00 a.m. Notice Clock
8:01 a.m. Will Be Late for Meeting/Work/Class: Don't Care: Write. Anything.
8:30 a.m. Hate What You've Written; Delete
8:31 a.m. Curse the Day You Thought You Could Write
8:32 a.m. Write Plausible Excuses for Tardiness
8:35 a.m. Have New Bright Idea; Wish to Spend Time with the Muse
8:36 a.m. $*&!@#!! Can't.
8:37 a.m. Promise to Be Home Early; Burn Midnight Oil
10:00 p.m. Finally back at it. Concentrate.
10:30 p.m. Working....
11:00 p.m. Working....
11:55 p.m. Stare at Screen, Eyes Red; Print Out: Read
11:56 p.m. Not Bad
11:57 p.m. Not that Good Either.
11:58 p.m. Despair; Realize You'll Never Recoup Big Chunks of Life Spent Wooing Words
11:59 p.m. Remember the Process is the Journey; the Journey is to the Soul.
Midnight: Set Alarm for 5:30 a.m.
August 31, 2011
September 21, 2011 11:24 AM EDTThis was hilarious! So glad I linked here from Women Who Write blog. I hate mornings, too, and this is exactly what it's like when I try to write then!
September 21, 2011 11:28 AM EDTAh, another midnight writer to balance those pious morning chirpy ones! Thanks for stopping by. Morning sucks big ones, doesn't it?
September 23, 2011 10:12 AM EDTGlad I checked this out after reading your web interview with Women Who Write. So funny and so true! Give me a glass (or bottle) of wine and a dark quiet night and I am in the zone but my morning writing friends give me so much grief about it, not to mention my husband.